Get Over It

Delphi

i watched joseph last night, with mr blue eyes himself. i'm embarrassed to
admit i actually saw this show on stage, but not with donny osmond. joseph
was played by <yike> andy gibb. in leopard print bikinis. i wonder if this
has anything to do with the way i am now...


I've been listening to the fundamentalist fruitcakes again. I try not to do
it too much; I'm afraid if I do it will become like exposure therapy and
eventually the crackpot things they say will start to make sense.

But periodically I do listen, just to see if they'll say something outrageous
enough to make fun of. One thing you can almost always count on them
referring to is The Homosexual Agenda. I always wonder just what exactly is
on The Homosexual Agenda, and since I've never heard anybody but
fundamentalist fruitcakes mention it, I can only assume that being bisexual
is just enough to get the fruitcakes to sentence me to hell, without being
enough to gain me admittance to that great town meeting where I get to see a
copy of the Agenda.

Of course, listening to fruitcake radio gives you enough clues to fill in
some of the blanks. The Vermont legislature is close to passing a bill
allowing same-sex marriages. If this happens, say the fruitcakes, there won't
be anything special about heterosexual marriage. Not that there's anything
special about it now; every legally recognized marriage in the US these days
is heterosexual. It's like saying that if we allow homosexuals to eat kiwi
fruit, it will cease to be a unique fruit from New Zealand.

According to the fruitcakes, the real purpose of The Homosexual Agenda is to
make everyone be just like homosexuals. Hmm. It involves preying on children
to
convert them, making public and lengthy demonstrations for rights and
benefits that only "normal" people should be entitled to, infiltrating the
media, the government, and the public school system, so that eventually the
only propaganda distributed is in line with The Agenda. Hmm.

Is it just me, or does this sound a great deal like The Fundamentalist
Fruitcake Agenda?

Remember, these are the same people who want the Ten Commandments posted in
courthouses and public schools. Too bad if you believe that the church (any
church, that is) has no business in either of those places. These are the
same people who describe any sort of conception other than intercourse
involving a man and a woman as "artificial", as if the sperm used in
anonymous donation was somehow concocted in a test tube, the way Twinkies
are. Using the turkey baster method to inseminate yourself isn't any more
unnatural than driving a car or keeping your food in a refrigerator, but I've
yet to hear a thundering sermon from the fruitcakes on the evils of freon.
These are the same people who say that abortion (which remember is bad
because it's murder) is okay in cases of
rape or incest. Which makes me wonder: if scientists do actually discover
that there is a genetic marker or even a gene for homosexuality, will the
fruitcakes say that abortion is okay if you discover that you're carrying a
gay baby?

I've been involved with gay communities in a number of places, and I've yet
to hear any gay, bi, or transgendered person of my acquaintance make even the
most casual mention of The Homosexual Agenda. Could it be that this Agenda is
merely
an item on the Fruitcake Agenda? I mean, it would hardly be the first time
someone has lied in the name of god, now would it?