Comments
by Java Mann
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A
Day Like Any Other
Matthew Shepard was killed
two years ago this week. I will not rehash the painful details of his death,
as I have nothing new to add, and if you haven’t heard it all before, I
suspect you are too vapid a non-entity to waste my time on. The sad fact
is, though I followed the story myself, voraciously devouring the details
as they were made public. |
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I had forgotten the date
of his death, and were it not for an author pushing her book on an early
morning chat show, I would have gone on blissfully ignorant. The revelation
has, however, had an effect.
As I sit here at my computer,
I could easily find myself angry, crying for justice, demanding federal
hate crime laws be rewritten or lambasting politician, the religious right
or any other scapegoat I could name for allowing this to happen. I choose
not to. Instead, I choose to look inside and ask, "How have I changed in
the last two years?" If the results of this senseless act meant anything
to me, surely this should have changed me as a person. But how?
Upon first sight, my life
hasn’t changed a lot. I live in the same place, drive the same car and
I’m pretty much where I was financially. My social circle has changed,
with a few friends moving on geographically and personally, and new people
entering my life.
Looking deeper, I find that
I have changed. A pacifist by nature I find myself less tolerant of racial
slurs and cruel speech, and I make no apologies when I let others know
this. Though it may be looked on as a nuisance, few that know me well will
make off-color jokes in my presence. Even though I believe Freud to have
been a sex crazed coke fiend, he said that every joke holds a grain of
truth. I believe he was right.
I have taken it upon myself
to become more aware of the world around me. There are more important things
than music, television and the other distractions that once dominated my
time. I’m looking into taking a night course, though my erratic work schedule
and weak paycheck have deterred me thus far.
I’m less judgmental concerning
people. I understand that the words and actions I see and hear may seem
foolish, destructive or juvenile to me, yet not knowing what motivates
them, I am in no position to cast aspersions. This does not contradict
my thoughts on hate speech.
Lastly, I suspect I have
become a more loving person. I appreciate that all men are not
created equal, but that they are created equally precious. I see now that
every person I meet is someone’s son or daughter, mother or father, friend
or lover. I find it ironic that the death of a person I’ve never met, whom
I’ll never know, could have had such an impact upon me. And I still find
it heartbreaking that Matthew Shepard died.
JM
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