Comments
by Java Mann 
It has been my long-held
conviction that what two or more consenting adults do in the privacy of
their own bedroom, kitchen, linen closet or basement is none of my concern,
at least until they invite me to join them. The fact that there are laws
on the books curtailing what (sexually) can and/or cannot be done in bed
amuses me. The fact that in this day and age these laws are actually enforced
amazes me.
These laws primarily deal
with sodomy. Sodomy, by definition is: any sexual act other than one
performed by a man and a woman who are married (to each other), performed
in a bed, in the missionary position, with the lights off, for the express
purpose of procreation.
At this point it would be
rather easy for me to rattle off a list of sexual acts that are by definition
sodomy, but out of kindness to my editor (who gets aroused by a stiff breeze)
and his long suffering wife I will refrain. Let’s just say if you’ve seen
it in a porno, it’s sodomy. In fact watching a porno flick is sodomy, but
I digress…
Sodomy has been in the news
quite a bit recently as two different state courts argued over the right
of their states to have and/or enforce sodomy laws.
The first is Texas, which
recently overturned the state’s ability to curtail private acts of affection.
This is no great victory for anyone, as it appears the Texas Supreme Court
moonlights as a House of Pancakes. This decision has been flipped more
times than I choose to count. I must also point out that Texas’ anti-sodomy
laws only applied to homosexual acts. What makes this case worthy of mention,
are the details surrounding it and their resemblance to the plot of a bad
soap opera.
On September 17th, Harris
County Deputies received a false report of a break-in at the apartment
of Tyrone Garner. The report was filed by Roger Nance. Upon entering Mr.
Garner’s apartment the deputies found Mr. Garner and John Lawrence engaged
in "an unnatural act". Mr. Garner and Mr. Lawrence were arrested and eventually
released on $200 bail. Mr. Nance, who admitted knowing Mr. Garner, plead
no contest to filing a fraudulent report and was jailed for 15 days. Hardly
a case of letting the punishment fit the crime. Obviously the case made
it to the states supreme court where the law was overturned.
The second case in the news
is that the Louisiana State Supreme Court recently determined that the
state legislature does have the right to determine which sexual acts are
legal and which are not. In Louisiana, any act of anal or oral sex is by
definition sodomy and thus a felony punishable by up to five years in prison.
In fairness, Louisiana laws do not consider gender in their definition
of sodomy. This makes every blow job ever performed in LA a crime. One
must imagine, if these laws were ever really enforced the
state would surely face a prison over population problem. And we
know what happens in prisons…
The fact remains that 13
states have anti-sodomy laws on their books right now, and that the US
Supreme Court has upheld the rights of states to pass and enforce these
laws. I would find this situation far less appalling if these laws were
not gender specific, and not intentionally written to discriminate against
homosexuals. I might actually find them tolerable if they were equally
enforced. They are not. With all the teenagers aggressively steaming up
the windows of parked cars across this country, when is the last time you
heard about a straight couple being arrested for violating anti-sodomy
laws? .
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