I have long since concluded that scientists have far too much time on their hands

Homo Erectus

By

Java Mann

I have long since concluded that scientists have far too much time on their hands. Don’t get me wrong, I like the computer, satellite TV, cellular phones and microwave popcorn. I just think these guys have possibly seen one too many episodes of Star Trek, and maybe their sense of what’s really important is just a bit outa whack. Case in Point: Researchers at Berkeley have discovered a "link" between the length of ones fingers and sexual orientation.

I’m not a rocket scientist but I really fail to see the pertinence of this discovery.

Allegedly their study, which will be published in Nature, found that lesbians are more likely than straight women to have shorter index fingers than ring fingers. Curiously, gay men also have shorter index fingers. This of course raises many questions. Among them: WHO THE HELL IS PAYING FOR THIS???

Really, who is paying for this? I could almost feel this study was justified if it was paid for by the makers of Trivial Pursuit, the Religious Right, or the producers of Who Wants to be a Millionaire (as they are in fact, the ultimate consumers of this brand of trivia).

But if I find out my tax dollars went to pay for this there will be hell to pay.

Similar studies have been conducted since the early 90’s. Did you know that the brain of a gay man differs from the brain of a straight man? It’s a fact (if you’re willing overlook the fact that all the gay men in the study died of AIDS). Did you know that the inner ear of a lesbian is very similar to the inner ear of a straight man? Do you care?

What is the purpose of these studies? Will they somehow lead to a cure for cancer (or AIDS)? Will they feed the hungry, house the homeless or explain the popularity of ‘N Sync?

I can only imagine that someone somewhere thought that this might answer the age-old nature vs. nurture question. Whether it does or does not is irrelevant. Homosexuals exist. Get used to it.

And now for the frightening part: Observant readers will remember that I said the study "allegedly found…". The fact is, these discoveries are alleged until peer reviewed and a duplicate study affirms the findings. This means in order for these "facts" to be accepted as valid, someone will have to repeat this study. And who’s gonna pay for that???