I’ll admit I
found myself in a bit of a quandary when I first received this message.
What’s the proper thing to do? Do I reply? Do I ignore him?
Ok…ignoring is out of the
question.
(Do I seem the type to back down from a potential confrontation?) So, I’ve
determined I’ll reply to the fool. What do I say?
First, let’s
take a look at this email. One thing you can’t see, since I’ve taken
his name out, is that he signed it AFTER the P.S. Please note for
future reference that P.S. stands
for post script,
and it goes after a signature. Now here’s the hard part. Let’s
remove the emotion and complete offensiveness from the email and dissect
it a bit.
I have two particular
favorite phrases from his eloquent letter. The first is “pretend
to be in charge of your own lives…” I don’t really know where to start
on this one. How dare we women pretend to have any control over our
own lives? I mean, what the hell are we thinking? I feel so
ashamed of projecting this image of a woman who thinks she can control
her life. How silly of me. How could I have forgotten that
without a man to pull my strings, this marionette is completely inanimate?
My other personal
fave is “I had to try to save you”. Oh thank you so much, kind sir.
Without your hyper
testosterone-driven, Mr. Fix-It, God’s gift to women, egotistical attitude,
I might have never been rescued from all my silly fantasies. Just
to think, without you, I may have believed that the choices I make in my
life are my own.
So, here is
my confession. I, the Changer, do hereby declare that I am guilty
of believing that I have the power to live my own life, independently of
“a real man”. I also declare
that there is
no man “real” enough to turn me into a “soft cuddly little girl”.
If I were, by some twist of fate, “lucky” enough to meet someone who forced
me to be submissive
and allow him
to control my life, I would be rid of him before he could say “baby, let
me try that vibrator out myself.”
For those of
you who are interested, here is the actual reply I sent to him:
"Well, you figured me out. Congratulations! You're
right, I'm just waiting for a big, strong, tough man to take care of me
and protect me from the cruel world. All these years, I've been dreaming
of the day when I find a man who can provide for me and give me children
so I can give up my successful computer career and stay home with the children
and learn to knit. Thank you for reading the "crap" I write.
I guess I'll have to work on being less transparent."
