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Comments by The Changer


Advice For Men

Despite the title, this article should enlighten and amuse all readers, male or female.  I’ve decided that it’s time to take some of the lessons I’ve learned from my failed relationships and help out those single men out there. 

The Changer

I'll bet you think I’m being unfair to men, don’t you?  Well, then prove me wrong. Email me.  Let’s go out.  And in a week, you’ll either be borrowing my vibrator, taking a poetry class, or engaged to me.  Let’s get on with the lessons:

 
  • If you’re going to brag about your penis size, you’d better have something worth bragging about.  Don’t go on and on to a woman about how “I’m so worried I’ll be too big for you…there are some positions that might be painful” if you’re only 4”, rock-hard. 
  • Don’t kiss me unless you have a strong tongue.  What can I say?  The girl knows how to suck.  Let’s leave it at that.  (Or read the story here.)
  • If you know a girl is incapable of a long-term relationship, don’t propose before the first date.  I’ve been proposed to 5 times, and the longest relationship I was in lasted three months.  Something’s wrong with those statistics.
  • Never ask “Baby, how do I compare to the other men you’ve been with?”  Will you boys ever learn?  There are some things you just really don’t want to know.  If you thought curiosity killed the cat, imagine what it’ll do to your sex life.
  • Soliciting a size comparison is an equally ignorant idea.  If you really are THAT huge, she’ll tell you. 
  • And, oh yeah, never ask her if she fakes her orgasms, either.  If she’s smart, she’ll lie and say that you are the best she’s been with and it’s been real every time.  If she’s me, she’ll be honest and say you were mediocre and she thought faking would be the quickest way to get it over with. 
One last thing before I leave you alone.  I thought I’d include what I have found to be the primary ingredients of testosterone: 
    • Egotism 
    • Commitment-phobia
    • Alone-a-phobia
    • Self-righteousness
    • Short attention span
    • Distorted penis-sizing gauge
    • Pride
    • Never-wrong-ness 
    • Nymphomania
    • Excessive curiosity
Go Now To The Changer's Homepage

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