Trick Or Treat
Deirdre Davison, SPHR
The time of year is upon us when pirates,
ghosts,
and fairies come to the door threatening tricks if a bounty of treats isn’t
offered up. While most of us enjoy the treats of Halloween, we rarely
think about tricks and treats in relation to our work or life. The
tricks in life are the little lies that we tell ourselves and each other,
such as “I’m not smart enough,” or “I have to go along with the crowd.”
The treats are the gifts and pleasures that we experience, such as relationships
and honesty.
Too often the focus is on the tricks and
not the treats. For example, in business, we trick ourselves into
thinking that we have to fade into the cubicle, that we have to lose our
personal identity, or that we have to be just like everyone else on the
team. In reality, the treat is the rich diversity that creates the
team, different opinions, perspectives, backgrounds, and voices.
On a team where everyone thinks alike or where someone is afraid to share
a dissenting view, the team rarely flourishes at the rate which it could.
Instead, it languishes. Ingenuity thrives in open systems.
In our neighborhoods, many of us trick
ourselves into believing that we have to keep up appearances. We
think that we need a new car or new furniture. After all, our neighbor,
Joe, has a new car in his garage and his kids have the latest interactive
games. Beth and Rob just put a pool in their back yard, and Sarah’s
had an interior designer redo her whole house. We fear what our neighbors
will think of us or even worse, what they may say about us. Storyteller
Ethel Barrett summarized it beautifully when she said, “We would worry
less about what others think of us if we realized how seldom they do.”
Children celebrate the treats of life.
They roll in the grass for no other reason than because it’s there, and
soft, and smells really good. Children create castles out of cardboard,
color outside of the lines, and laugh at the wind. They sing loudly
to the heavens, because they haven’t been taught that they can’t or more
appropriately, that they shouldn’t. Children embrace the greatest
treats in life: the spirit of love, creativity, and exploration.
As children grow, they learn to sit quietly, color inside the lines, and
to not make waves. They learn to embrace the tricks that slowly steal
humanity’s individuality.
Have you got an idea at work that you are
afraid to share? Do you go along with the crowd so that you won’t
make waves? Do you feel compelled to make a purchase not because
you need to, but because you want to impress someone or feel better about
yourself? Do you charge more on your credit card than you can pay
off each month? If you answered yes to any of these questions, you
are experiencing the tricks that we tell ourselves in life and not fully
embracing the treats that are available to you.
Is there one trick of life that you would
like to exchange for a treat? If so, what one thing can you do to
make that exchange? At work, a suggestion might include, thoroughly
thinking about and mapping out an idea that you have for work. Once
your thought is fully formulated, share it with a teammate or with your
supervisor. Keep in mind that there is no guarantee that the idea
will be embraced, but you have taken a huge step and should celebrate your
success – that success being your courage to be unique!
When you are getting ready to buy something
in your personal life, honestly ask yourself if you really need it or just
want it. If you just want it, what is the motivation? What
can you do besides spending money that will satisfy the motivation?
If the motivation is to feel better about yourself, you can try going for
a walk or spending some quality time with your family. Those activities
will release the same brain chemicals that spending money does and the
activity will retain its value much longer!
Life is full of tricks and treats.
If you consciously focus on filling your basket with treats, your work
and life will become more intrinsically satisfying.
Disclaimer: Coaching is neither
psychological counseling nor legal counsel and should not be considered
a substitute for either.
Deirdre Davison, President of Metanoia
Consortium, is a Professional Coach and Consultant and author of the Quickstart
Guide for Self-Employment and The Itty Bitty Vision Book. She can be reached
at 803-802-7773 or ddavison@metanoiaconsortium.com
